This blog post is the first in a series on building self-confidence. It explores how cognitive behavioral therapy can help boost your confidence in yourself.
Cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT is a type of therapy that helps you identify and replace unhelpful or negative thoughts with more useful and helpful ones. This type of therapy can help you gain insight into beliefs that could be destroying your confidence. It can also help you develop ways of modifying negative feelings and behaviors.
What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?
Unlike traditional Freudian psychotherapy, which probes the effects of childhood wounds on behavior, CBT focuses on how beliefs and thoughts influence feelings and behavior.
The main idea behind CBT is that distorted thoughts cause negative feelings. Consequently, these feelings trigger negative behaviors. CBT helps you identify these distorted thoughts. When you learn to recognize and change distorted views, it creates more positive emotions and actions.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Basics – The ABC Model
CBT uses the ABC Model developed by psychologist Albert Ellis. This model explains the connection between an event, a person’s beliefs about the event, feelings, and behaviors.
The ABC Model can help you better understand your reactions to thoughts. Here is a breakdown of the ABC Model:
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A – The A represents adversity or the event or situation that you are facing.
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B – This is the belief that you have about the event.
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C – The C refers to the consequences of the belief, which includes the feelings and behaviors that result from your ideas.
Here is an example of the model in action. You are sitting in your office when the boss calls. She asks you to see her later in the afternoon for an important meeting. As you are waiting for the meeting, you think “What did I do wrong?” and “I bet she’s going to fire me.” Your heart pounds. You become shaky. As a result, you avoid the meeting, telling your boss that you don’t feel good and go home.
Here is another example of the same situation but with a different outcome. This time, when your boss calls you for the meeting, you think “I bet she’s going to tell me that I have won employee of the year.” You feel happy and proud of all of the work that you have put in. You are so excited that you show up early for the meeting.
See how the same event can trigger very different feelings and behaviors depending on a person’s thoughts?
How Is The ABC Model Used In Therapy?
The ABC Model is used in therapy to help you:
- Identify thoughts that cause low self-esteem.
- Change those thoughts to more helpful ones that will improve your self-confidence rather than break it down.
CBT is a highly collaborative process. It involves working together with your therapist to change your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Some of the tools used in CBT include:
- Education – You’ll learn how thoughts and feelings influence behaviors. You’ll also come to recognize your beliefs that might be triggering feelings of shame, guilt or embarrassment — emotions that can deal a blow to your self-confidence.
- Homework – You might be asked to keep a CBT diary based on the ABC Model to help you identify events, beliefs, and consequences.
- Skill building and practice – A part of CBT involves learning and practicing skills to help you cope with negative emotions. These skills could include things like stress management, relaxation training, assertiveness training and more.
Practice is an integral part of cognitive behavioral therapy. To achieve the most success from CBT, you will need to actively practice the skills and complete the homework assignments outside of sessions. The more you put into CBT assignments and practices, the more you will get out of it.
